Polyamory Advice commenting rules

Speak with respect. No personal attacks, insults, or general buttholery. 

Absolutely no hate, gatekeeping, or bigotry. Judging people based on their sexuality, gender, religion, dis/ability, or any other category will not be tolerated. This includes kinks and sexual preferences.

Be gentle to LWs. Letter-writers may be incorrect or misguided, or making choices you think are unwise. But they are people asking for help. I do my best to respond to them with grace and compassion. Please do the same. 

Assume nothing. If the letter writer hasn't included a specific detail, try not to fill it in yourself. This includes gender/pronouns for all involved, extra parts of the story, and thoughts/motives.

Discuss the behavior/situation, not the person. Don't just blanket someone with a label like "toxic" - address what's happening, not who you think someone is.

No armchair diagnoses. Do not speculate about whether a letter writer or someone they discuss has a mental illness or personality disorder.

Take language seriously. Do not throw around terms like "abuse" and "trauma" when they're not applicable. Use nuanced, precise language specific to the situation.

No self-promo spam. Linking to resources is great, including resources you developed! Spamming your own blog, fundraiser, etc. is not cool.

I am not the government. The first amendment does not apply here. I will delete comments that don't contribute to the atmosphere I want. That is not "censorship," and I will not entertain arguments about "free speech."