Hey there, my best friend is in a poly relationship, and one of his beautiful wives is pregnant with their baby boy! I want to throw a baby shower for their new little one. But I want to honor both mothers and looking for poly baby shower ideas that includes the mom carrying the little one and the mom who is still going to be his mom. And for once Pinterest has failed me! I want to honor both mothers and looking for respectful ideas for both mommies!
Although it's tradition for baby showers to be planned without much input from the mom-to-be, this is a case where I think it would be best to just go directly to both women and ask them how they want to be honored and included. It's possible that both moms want to be equally included and are placing less emphasis on who's biologically carrying the baby. It's also possible that the pregnant mom prefers to be the center of attention and the other mom intends to be less central to the celebrations. You'll only know if you ask! You can ask your best friend to ask them, or go to them directly, depending on your relationships with them.
Most standard baby shower activities could work for a multiparent family, anyway - crafts, games, etc. don't tend to rely on there being Only One Mom. Some fun stuff that doesn't explicitly center the pregnancy:
- A pretty book or another write-on-able thing where attendees can give the parents advice & support
- Blind taste-testing baby food flavors
- Having attendees bring baby photos of themselves & guessing who's who
- A make-your-own activity for a self-care item like lotion or salt scrub
- Blank white onesies & fabric paint/pens for guests to decorate for the baby
- Just getting together with friends to eat and chat and hang out and have a nice party
- A trivia contest with fun facts about weird historical baby-care notions (opium for sleep! keep them in boxes!)
- An "open mic" for participants to tell funny stories from their childhood or parenthood
When it comes to gifts, most baby shower gifts are for the baby, but you could consider specific gifts for both moms, like self-care kits, spa gift cards, their favorite easy to prepare snacks, fun t-shirts (if they wear them) with polyamory pride or parenting stuff on them, and other stuff that they like. You can also make sure that things like the invitations (if you do printed invitations) name both women; that both women are acknowledged in toasts (if there are toasts). You as the host can try to make sure that people aren't exclusively congratulating the pregnant mom and you can actively include the other mom in conversations and congratulations.
But really, your best bet is to ask them how they want it to go! Some people like the cheesy, on-theme Pinterest style baby showers with crafts and activities; some people just kind of want to hang out with their friends and eat something tasty.