My husband and I would like a partner for me, is that polyamory?

My husband and I would like a partner for me, someone I can only be emotionally and maybe romantically involved with and he wants to watch but not be involved with her. Is this also considered polyamory or not?

It’s hard to answer your actual question. Some people would consider this polyamory, inasmuch as unicorn hunting is generally included under the umbrella of polyamory, as annoying as that is. But it doesn’t matter whether a certain word applies to what you want to do - what matters is that it’s not a healthy perspective or a wise thing to do.

People are not sex toys. Look at the language: “my husband and I would like” - it sounds like you want to be with another woman as a way to ‘spice up’ your existing relationship with your husband. That’s not fair to her. Imagine hearing that someone wants to be with you not because they like you, because they are attracted to you, because they are interested in a new relationship - but because their husband thinks it would be fun, and he wants to watch.

If what you really want is something for you and your husband to enjoy together, consider shopping for a new sex toy together, buying a new porn subscription together, or writing erotica together. If what you really want is a complete, sexual-emotional-romantic relationship with another woman, then seek that relationship the way you’d seek any other relationship. Don’t fetishize or objectify the woman or the relationship. Check my resources here.