I moved recently and have been lucky enough to connect with an amazing group of people, many of whom are poly. As someone who identifies as a relationship anarchist, I am really interested in pursuing a variety of relationships with several of these amazing people, but I also don't want to cause drama or upset existing relationships. In the past, I've pursued relationships pretty independently and usually with people who didn't really know each other prior to me, and I'm not sure how to navigate coming into an existing group like this. Should I try to pick one relationship to pursue first? Should I just give it time?
I’d say give it time! It’s rarely a bad idea to just let things happen organically and go with the flow. Give yourself enough room to get a really good sense for the dynamics of this existing polycule. Be open to flirting and blossoming friendships, and allow for natural opportunities for this kind of intimacy to come up. Once you have a clearer sense of things, open those conversations! Be friendly and honest, letting people know you’d be interested in pursuing a different type of intimacy, and checking in with them about context, existing dynamics, etc.
It can be hard to find the right balance between “too aggressive” and “too passive” when it comes to pursuing people you’re interested in but connected with socially. My strategy is to follow other people’s leads, work up the courage to make a move but wait a bit longer than I want to, and make it safe and comfortable to have honest conversations about what people are wanting and feeling. Best of luck!