Hey, I was wondering if you had any resources about dealing with insecurity, jealousy, lack of self-esteem, comparing oneself to others and such? I’m not actually poly. It’s just that I guess the people who had or have those issues and were poly must have a lot of very interesting stuff to say about it.
Boy howdy, do we!
A good place to start is my mental health resources page - it includes recommendations for books and some online self-help resources specifically about self esteem!
Here is the More Than Two hub on jealousy and insecurity, which includes a free ebook and a great little article about becoming a more secure person.
The Polyamorous Misanthrope has a lot of good resources, so poke around that blog as well! Here’s one of their pieces on overcoming insecurities.
The Polyamory Society Self-Improvement Program includes a section on positive self-affirmation and another on fighting self-defeating or negative messages.
I cannot recommend enough the work of Brene Brown, specifically Daring Greatly and The Gifts of Imperfection.
Also: therapy!!! Therapists are there for exactly this kind of issue! (You’d think I get kickbacks from the rich and powerful therapy mafia for how often I say this, but sadly that is not a real thing and I don’t make any money off this blog.)