how would lgbt+ people hating straights have anything to do with straight people in polyamory? no offense meant I’m just curious of you don’t mind clarifying
It doesn’t, in theory. What I was guessing at is that the person who was confused about whether straight people could be poly had gotten at least some of their confusion from discourse like that.
For reasons I won’t theorize about here, there is a huge overlap between different communities that are marginalized because of sexual/relationship identity: to take just three examples, there are a lot of LGBTQ+ people in the BDSM scene and a lot of kinky people in the LGBTQ+ community; there are a lot of poly people in the BDSM scene and in the LGBTQ+ community; a lot of LGBTQ+ people in the poly community and the kinky scene, etc. etc. etc.
So, where you find these overlaps, you find (in my experience!) a sort of umbrella effect where certain spaces and communities default to being, or seeming, generally “queer.” Which is, for the most part, awesome! I wish all spaces and communities did things like normalize asking about pronouns, encourage or make space for genderbending and nonbinary modes of expression, honor and welcome different types of partners, etc. etc. etc.
But sometimes that means that a person who is only kinky, but not poly or LGBTQ+ will wander into a BDSM scene and worry they are too straight or too monogamous. Or a person who is gay but not kinky or poly may feel a cultural pressure to be “less vanilla” or “more open.” I think this is gross and unfair and we should not make people feel like they have to be anyone other than themselves to be included and accepted as they are. You can be poly and hella vanilla. You can be LGBT+ and totally monogamous. And so forth.
So what I was trying to say is, if this person was learning about polyamory in a context that associates polyamory with not being straight, they should try and see that discourse for what it is - people who have been hurt and alienated by heteronormativity expressing their pain in a way that makes sense for them, or people who happen to be poly and also not straight conflating the two because for them the identities are intertwined - not an objective fact that straightness is mutually exclusive with polyamory.
I could, of course, be totally wrong - maybe that person is confused for other reasons, and I confess that when I get asks that are so short, I have to make some assumptions to be able to address the question. All I can go on is my own experience, which includes lots of people, myself included, who sometimes wonder if certain ways of being must necessarily overlap.