I am married and have a child. I also have a bf. My bf hasn’t told his family that I am not single. If they were to find out down the line, is there anything they can do to hurt my family… such as get my kid taken away? I live in California. They do not.
I am not a lawyer or a legal expert, but I can tell you that anyone can call Child Protective Services on anyone, and create issues for them. If CPS visits your home after getting a report, and finds nothing wrong, you won’t lose your children, but it can create hassles.
I would guess that your boyfriend’s parents would have less clout because they have no connection to the child - your husband’s parents or your parents could try to take custody as grandparents, but again, they’d need to prove that the environment you’re raising your children in is somehow abusive or unhealthy to them.
I can’t say for sure how a specific CPS agent would respond. Some might think “wow, someone’s harassing these parents,” while others might think “Hm, I’m not sure it’s healthy for kids to be ‘exposed’ to this kind of ‘sexual lifestyle’” - someone who wants to could theoretically create legal complications for you, but there’s a big difference between “I have to talk to some social workers and do some paperwork” and “I lost custody of my children.”
My recommendation is, if you’re worried about legal and custody issues with your parenting situation, try finding a lawyer to talk to who specializes in LGBTQ+ family law. You may also want to see a family therapist who is friendly to “alternative” (a term I find icky, but whatever) family styles and just lay the groundwork to raising healthy kids in a poly household.
If you plan for your boyfriend to be involved in your kids’ lifestyles - picking them up from school, attending games and performances, things like that - set up a plan for how you’ll talk to teachers, doctors, coaches, family members, etc. and how you’ll communicate with your children about their questions. A lawyer and/or family counselor can definitely help with that!
I don’t usually share or reblog other people’s commentary or thoughts, but these are some great resources on poly parenting! Thanks, Polyamorous Misanthrope!