Is this desire of mine, to date an existing couple, polyamorous?

Hi so I have a question and I hope I'm not coming across as rude but is poly like two people in a relationship going off and finding separate people to be with or like the couple trying to find someone they both like together? Idk lately I've been think a lot about relationships and I think i would really like to be with two people who are already a couple? And it's not just a sex fling either for me I think I'm just interested in loving two people? It's hard to explain.

“Two people in a relationship going off and finding separate people to be with” is the most common form of polyamory, and is called V-shaped polyamory. That is the kind of polyamory I practice. Most people find it simpler and more sustainable. Sometimes, people in the V might all date each other, but the coupled relationships can remain distinct, or not, according to the desires and intentionality of the people involved.

“The couple trying to find someone they both like together” may be referring to ‘unicorn hunting,’ which can be done well, but almost never is. It brings up issues of ‘couple’s privilege’ and is not often sustainable or healthy. You can read more about that here. When three people all date in one interrelated relationship, it’s called a ‘triad.’ When multiple people are in a closed relationship with each other, this is called ‘polyfidelity.’ You can learn more about the different types of polyamory and different terms you’ll encounter on my FAQ page here.

If you are interested in dating two people who are already a couple, that makes you a “unicorn,” which, as the term implies, is pretty rare. You will absolutely have a “buyer’s market” in the dating pool - there are a LOT of couples looking for a “third” to date. You will need to be really careful about finding people who are seeking a triad in a healthy and appropriate way. I strongly recommend that you read through the stuff on my unicorn FAQ page linked above, and be on the lookout for red flags and dealbreakers. But wanting to be part of a polyamorous triad is not wrong, or bad, in itself; and you may very well find a lovely couple to join! Remember that once you start dating them, the three of you become one triad; it should never be [you] dating [them] as two units. (Unless that’s specifically something you want, in which case, you still need to be careful about making sure your individuality is respected and your needs are met!)