I’ve known this married couple for about five months. I really like them and we click. Occasionally they'd just bring up polyamory and say something like, "Oh you know some people have multiple partners." I never told them I was interested in it because I didn't feel it was the right time to do so in those moments. After some time they would invite me to their house. They asked if I could house sit while they were going out of town, so I stayed at their house for a few days.
They have a surveillance camera in the house. I know it records because I googled the camera. While on the phone with my mom (I’m 21 and still live with her) I asked her to get certain snacks that I liked. Then I was scrolling through twitter and saw a video about crows and said "crows are the best birds ever" out loud to no one obviously because I was alone. When the couple invited me over their house a few weeks later, I saw a new wall piece that was a crow. Then in the kitchen I saw the snacks I mentioned to my mom. They also would talk to me about some things I mentioned over the phone or to myself while I was house sitting, and a few other things which make me believe they watched the footage from when I was house sitting. Mostly the husband.
Then one day I made a self deprecating joke. The husband told me, "I don't want to hear you say that. Anyone would be lucky to have you." Then I got a call from the wife and we talked for a bit about random things. She told me I should call her husband sometimes to talk to him. Idk. I'm interested in them but tbh, I don't think they understand polyamory fully. Maybe I'm overthinking it?
I don’t think this couple sounds safe or healthy to get involved with. There’s standard flirting, which I’ll admit, sometimes involves “hearing my crush likes a certain band, so looking them up and listening to a bunch of their songs so I can mention it next time we talk” - and then there’s secret recordings and creepy conversational insinuations that they were watching you when you thought you were alone. That’s super weird and reason enough to take serious distance from this couple.
Then there’s the gap in ages and life experience - you’re younger than these people, and don’t live on your own. This couple has more financial, relational, and other types of security than you. That creates an inherent power imbalance which you always want to tread carefully around. Their behavior strikes me more like “grooming” or “pursuit” of you as an object or prize, rather than a mutually acknowledged and respectfully managed budding romance.
Finally, you are very right to note that they don’t seem to understand polyamory in a If they wanted to woo you responsibly, they would be clear, open, and honest about their desires and interests, and make space for your input. But they’re not doing that. They’re being sneaky and subtle, relying on hints and weird manipulation tactics. That doesn’t signal that they’re sensitive to existing issues or well versed in healthy polyamory.
My advice would be to take some distance from these people - stop going over to their house, and respond to their flirtatious overtures with feigned ignorance or confusion. If you’re interested in this type of dynamic, check out polyamorous communities and spaces in your area and learn more about it on your own. This couple are not good candidates for your first foray into this type of relationship.