Fuck that advice you gave to that guy who’s girlfriend wants to practice one-sided Poly. Polyandary [sic] is already rare enough, don’t disparage her! Men need to know how it feels to be a part of a harem and for women to be in power for once, he needs to check his privilege. He’s not the woman in the relationship, therefore his opinion doesn’t matter and I can’t believe you would support him! If you’re a straight man yourself, you should be checking your privilege as well.
I think this is the letter you’re talking about. I got a lot of mail about that one - most of them (actually, all but you) agreed with me that the girlfriend’s behavior is completely inappropriate and unfair. The fact that women have historically been oppressed does not mean that individual women today have the right to hurt individual men, nor does it excuse that kind of extreme selfishness.
I’m not going to lie - this reads like a satire, and I really hope it is. To say that someone’s “opinion doesn’t matter” because they aren’t a woman is a complete mockery of the equality that feminism actually stands for. Polyamory is about love, joy, freedom, and mutual respect - it’s not about women somehow taking revenge for oppressive practices like harems and polygamy. The thing about polyamory is that it only works if all parties feel supported, respected, and happy. If one partner wants special privileges that the other party doesn’t get, and both partners aren’t completely okay with this arrangement, that’s not healthy polyamory. You seem to have misunderstood the writer’s problem and my advice, as well as the entire premise of polyamory.
This is the first displeased message I’ve gotten, and I have to say I’m so baffled by it that I decided to tag it wtf-mail. From now on, I’ll use that tag for any (hopefully rare) hatemail, angrymail, displeasedmail, and bizarremail I choose to publish, though most times I delete anon-anger on sight.