I recently started dating a guy who is polyamorous and I have only ever been in monogamous relationships. This is something I am open to, but I’m having a difficult time being okay with him texting his boyfriend while we are hanging out. How can I confront him about this without it coming across and me not liking his boyfriend?
This is a pretty low-stakes issue. You’re doing most of the emotional heavy lifting here, and if he’s practicing healthy polyamory, he’ll be open to this kind of request.
Try not to think of it as a “confrontation” - I don’t think it’s that serious of an interaction. Find a quiet time to talk, and let him know that while you’re doing your best to be open to his polyamory, you are uncomfortable with him texting his boyfriend while you’re together. This isn’t about you being jealous of the boyfriend, just you wanting to feel like you have his attention and are a priority during the time you’re together.
If he gets upset and confrontational - if he insists you’re being controlling, or it’s not a big deal - run. This is a pretty basic issue of common courtesy and has very little to do with the nuances of polyamory. If he can’t handle that conversation, he is not a good candidate for your first poly relationship.