I’m just so hurt and upset that my family will not accept me for who I really am. They can not get over that I have a husband and my boyfriend who will be moving in with us later this year. I’m trying so hard to get them to see that it would mean a lot to me for them to meet him and be able to have him at family gatherings as well but thru refuse to even give him a chance. I’m at the point of saying I will just not go anymore.

You know how people say “blood is thicker than water”? The actual quote is “the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.” I’m firmly of the belief that you owe more to, and are owed more by, the people who you choose to be in your life and who choose to be in your life. Simply sharing DNA with someone by a happenstance of fate doesn’t mean they’re going to be healthy to have in your life.

I am so sorry that you’re dealing with this. Polyamorous people are not the first, and won’t be the last, minority to face rejection from their families. It’s so painful. But you are doing the right thing by setting boundaries and standing up for your chosen family, by fighting for the relationships that serve you and lift you up. Try to be proud of the strength and courage it takes to stand up to your family’s ignorance and protect what matters most: the love you, your husband, and your boyfriend share.

If the frustration and the alienation gets to be too much, please consider talking to a therapist that specializes in issues like this, or joining a polyamorous group in your area or online. <3