I’m thinking of entering into my first poly relationship. We’ve had a crazy physical attraction for years that I’ve been trying to avoid until recently. We talk constantly… except its always about sex, even when I try to bring up other topics. I have poly friends, and a lot of them say he isn’t respectful. I have always been interested in the poly lifestyle and I’m worried one bad experience could put me off for life. But I can’t stop thinking about him. Advice please?

It sounds like perhaps this person is a better candidate for a ‘sexy fling’ than a ‘relationship.’ It’s perfectly okay to have really strong sexual chemistry with someone and not otherwise want or need to be in a ‘relationship’ with them. Just because you are really into this person and really enjoy him within the bounds of what you’ve got going on now doesn’t mean you need to expand those bounds or try and stretch the relationship to fill a space it doesn’t really fit. 

You could always bring this up with him: “hey, it feels like all we talk about is sex - and I’m a person who wants to connect on more than one level if I’m going to be with someone, could we tone down the sexting sometimes and chat about something else?” If he responds to that with an open willingness to add other dynamics to your relationship, great! If he seems perfectly happy with a mostly-sex-oriented vibe between you two, decide whether that’s a type of connection you’re okay having.