Is it a thing to have a closed relationship but like with a little bit of sexual freedom? Like, for me personally, the idea of having an open relationship makes me feel awful inside, I will always have the desire to have a closed relationship regardless of how many people I’m dating. But I also like the idea of my partner(s) and I going out and having a threesome/foursome whatever, but only together. The idea of my partner(s) going out & being with someone w/out me present makes me feel awful.

Yes, this is a thing! It’s often called “swinging,” or just “I’m dating this person but one of our things we like to do together is have threesomes.” It’s very common and possible to have this kind of arrangement. Set boundaries and expectations up front, stay healthy and safe, and have fun.

I get lots of questions asking me if something is “normal,” or “common,” or if other people do it, or if there is a name for it - and what I want to remind everyone is that it really doesn’t matter whether other people do it or whether someone else has invented a word for it. If it works for you, if it’s healthy and fulfilling for you, it doesn’t matter whether you’re the first person on the planet to want that arrangement.

You don’t need permission or validation from other people. This isn’t a National Park where you need to stay on the trails and are not allowed to forge your own. If you can clearly articulate who you are and what you want, the next step is to live your truth, not look around to see if anyone else is doing it!