I’ve been in a monogamous relationship with my boyfriend for almost a year now but lately I’ve been considering a polyamorous relationship. We’ve been at an all time high together for a while now but I feel like a third person could possibly make it even better. We’re both bisexual so we could find someone we both love and are attracted to. I really want to discuss it seriously with him but I don’t know how to bring it up without seeming pushy or unhappy with how we already are. Any suggestions?
When it comes to communication, the best strategy is to be clear and open. Tell him you’ve been thinking about this lately, and outline what your hopes and desires would be in a best-case-scenario. However, be clear that this is your best case scenario. Keep in mind that just being bisexual doesn’t mean a person necessarily wants a poly or open arrangement, so avoid making assumptions about his needs and wants based on that.
Tell him what you told me: that you’ve been very happy with how the relationship is going, and this doesn’t mean you’re unhappy with him or feeling unfulfilled. It’s just the opposite - because things are so happy and healthy, you think the two of you are in a good position to try something new together.
While you talk, be sure to check in with him frequently. Make space for him to be open and honest with you. Don’t be defensive or dismissive if he voices concern. Make the goal of the first conversation to have both of you share your thoughts about this in a way that is understood by the other person - don’t come at it like the goal is to convince him.