My companion of 2 years came together wanting to be open. Until 2 months ago we hadn’t pursued anything sexual. We were Involved with on guy friend for 2 weeks and that went well although it is not ongoing. Now he has fallen in love with a female that I don’t have much interaction with and nothing sexual. He did not use a condom which was my only request and I don’t know how to get over that breach of trust. He thinks he loves us equally and talks with her often but has neglected me.
As for the “talks with her often but has neglected me,” I think that sounds like a case of New Relationship Energy, or NRE. It’s common for people to favor newer partners for time and attention, because they’re new. You’re Woody, she’s Buzz. It’s frustrating and annoying for the incumbent partner, but if you can ride it out, it usually fades. I’d recommend gently letting him know that you’d like to set apart some time together.
But as for him not using a condom, that’s a huge violation. If that’s your only rule, he absolutely should have followed it. It’s a basic safety issue for everyone involved. That’s a rule I have with my partners, and not following it would be cause for immediate cessation of intimacy until I felt like I could trust them again. I’d suggest you talk to him about how not okay this is, and how he needs to follow that simple request if this open thing is going to work. But try to keep that separate from the “you spend more time with her” issue, because I think they’re different issues, and this one deserves to be addressed with focus.