Hi! I am a 16 year old girl ace/bi and discovered a few months ago I’m polyamorous. While I have not dated anyone still I think it would be nice to go out with two people. However,I felt a little insecure because in this society an asexual is rare and more if it is a polyamorous asexual, so when I imagine a future with two beautiful people the thought that no one could accept me for being asexual and polyamorous invades me, could you give me some words of encouragement and advice?

When you’re 16, you’re mostly surrounded by other teenagers. Teenagers are not a demographic famous for their sensitivity to the differences of others, or for making each other feel accepted. Don’t base your assumptions about how society works on what you see in your peers!

There are as many ways to express and experience sexuality and relationships as there are people. You have grown up in a world saturated by stories of straight, sexually-inclined romances - but that’s the media’s problem, not yours. Again, don’t base your assumptions about “society” based on what you’ve seen so far. As you get older, you’ll find that the real world includes all sorts of people looking for all sorts of partners, and you can find a place to be accepted and understood no matter what.

Here are some resources about polyamory and asexuality:

In the long run, you are going to be okay. You are going to find your people, people who love and accept you, and you are going to grow and live and love in all the ways that are right for you. Many people at 16 worry about finding love and acceptance, and that’s a normal fear especially for a young person discovering their sexuality. Remember that there are plenty of people out there like you, building communities and relationships, and you can always find them online if they are not available to you in real life yet. Good luck!

I’ve always loved my close friends deeply, but rarely desire sex. I know there are polyamorous asexuals, but could I call myself “polyromantic” and still have myself be understood, if that’s the term I prefer to use?

You can identify in whatever way makes the most sense to you! When it comes to making sure other people understand, there’s no linguistic silver bullet - you may need to explain and clarify what you mean, and people may still have misconceptions or questions. That’s part of the territory sometimes. Once you’ve had the conversation a few times, you get pretty good at anticipating questions, explaining things in broad strokes, and knowing when to avoid the topic if you don’t have the energy to give someone an education. 

Remember that in the online world of tumblr and forums and sexuality blogs, there are hundreds of little distinctions drawn between the many identifiers people have developed - you’ll find people identifying as “gray asexual,” “aromantic,” “polyromantic,” “polyamorous asexual,” etc. and you’ll find other people arguing over what those words really mean, and who gets to use them, and drawing even finer distinctions. But offline, the vast majority of the population hasn’t been exposed to this discourse, so it’s less a matter of finding the exact right vocabulary to describe yourself, and more about learning who you are, living into your true self, and knowing your boundaries when it comes to having the “coming out” conversation with various people.