Would you know of any good dating sites where I can find a Polyfidelity family? I’m new to the lifestyle & I’m still doing research on this topic. I’m a 22 year old mtf transgender person who’s a virgin (who’s never had her first kiss yet) I’m actually trying to find people like me but I know that it’s impossible to find in this day and age. What makes my search harder is this: I’m actually seeking chubby women to be with because I have a fat fetish. So to find a chubby woman or chubby women who are virgins and had no first kiss yet seems like a dream. What would you recommend I do for this kind of search? in the past I’ve tried dating sites for this but I ended up deleting those accounts a month later because they were of no use to me. It seems like a hard thing to look for but my biggest concern is that what i’m seeking may not even exist anymore.
First, I would ask yourself why it’s so important to you that you date someone who is also a virgin. Is it because you feel uncomfortable being with someone who is more experienced? It is because you want the experience of your first time being someone else’s first time too? Is it because something turns you on about being with a virgin?
I think it would be helpful to figure out what here is really about you, not about the other person. That way you can make your needs known: “I’m very new to this, so I need things to go slow and be very experimental” or “This is my first time, so it’s very special to me, and I need to know it’s special for you too.” It’s okay to put in a dating profile that you’re also hoping to meet people who share your level of experience.
Second: it’s totally okay to have certain body types or other things that you’re attracted to - some people like tattoos, other people prefer their partners to be taller than them, etc. But people don’t like to be treated as objects, to feel as if you’re into them just because they’re tattooed, or tall, or chubby. Going into the dating scene like you’re a picky shopper with a checklist of items you’re looking for tends to scare people off. Try to go for people you’re attracted to in body and mind without fetishizing them. People you date should be right for you because of who they are, not what they are - because you like them as people, not because they meet your exacting standards.
Not that it isn’t okay to have a fetish, or even to fetishize your partner with their consent. Just that going into the dating scene with this sort of attitude can set you up for failure. Focus on what you have to offer and what sort of relationship you’re looking for rather than how you can evaluate other people based on what you think would be perfect for you.
As for how to meet people - you just have to get out there and date. Go to poly meetups, LGBTQ+ groups, and other get-togethers in your area that fit your interests. OKCupid has a free version that lets you share a lot of your preferences and search with filters for body type, nonmonogamy, level of sexual experience, etc. Since you have such specific desires, it can seem discouraging, but the best way to guarantee you never get what you want is to give up looking. Good luck!