My husband insists that we have to have an open/poly relationship even though it makes me miserable. He keeps saying that we can make it work that we just need the right compromise. But I don't even want that. I do love him, but neither of us are going to be able to be happy together long term. And he refuses to see divorce as an option. Some people just aren't polyamorous and I don't think that makes me wrong or inferior.
You are absolutely correct that not wanting a polyamorous relationship doesn't make you wrong or inferior. You seem pretty clear-eyed about the fact that this relationship does not have a future - you two have discovered things about yourselves that make it obvious that you're incompatible as spouses.
You don't need your husband to agree to see divorce as an option - you can make that decision for yourself. If it's over in your eyes, it's over. Leave the relationship, hire a lawyer, see a therapist, and free yourself to move forward toward a monogamous relationship that meets all your needs.