My partner is going through a divorce - what now?

My partner is currently going through a divorce. What the hell do I do?

That question is probably best posed to your partner. Ask them what they need from you to get through this tough time. Maybe they need patience on your part and an acceptance that you'll see less of them while they hunker down and deal with this. Maybe they need a soft shoulder and someone to vent to. Maybe they need cheerful, upbeat distractions from someone who isn't involved and doesn't need to talk constantly about the divorce logistics. 

You also need to make sure you're getting your needs met during this high-stress time. Your partner probably won't be able to do a bunch of emotional labor for you, so you'll need to find somewhere to 'dump out' while you 'comfort in.' Friends, a therapist, a hobby, other partners - make sure you've got outlets as well. 

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My husband insists on an open relationship. I don't want that.

My husband insists that we have to have an open/poly relationship even though it makes me miserable. He keeps saying that we can make it work that we just need the right compromise. But I don't even want that. I do love him, but neither of us are going to be able to be happy together long term. And he refuses to see divorce as an option. Some people just aren't polyamorous and I don't think that makes me wrong or inferior.

You are absolutely correct that not wanting a polyamorous relationship doesn't make you wrong or inferior. You seem pretty clear-eyed about the fact that this relationship does not have a future - you two have discovered things about yourselves that make it obvious that you're incompatible as spouses. 

You don't need your husband to agree to see divorce as an option - you can make that decision for yourself. If it's over in your eyes, it's over. Leave the relationship, hire a lawyer, see a therapist, and free yourself to move forward toward a monogamous relationship that meets all your needs.