I think I might be polyamorous. I mean, I can see myself in romantic relationship with multiple people at the same time, I've been attracted to multiple people at the same time; but I also can see myself in a relationship with one person? Is that valid?
I really hate the tumblrified use of the word “valid,” it makes no sense and it gets everyone all twisted up worried about whether their specific identity or experience or preferences is acceptable in the eyes of some nebulous gatekeeping census-taker of validity. Can we cool it with worrying about whether we are “valid” or arguing over who is “valid” or needing reassurance that someone or some identity or some way of experiencing the world or some term is “valid”? This blog is declaring a moratorium on the word “valid” and whatever concept it is clumsily trying to capture.
Letter-writer, you know that you would be happy in a monogamous or a polyamorous relationship. That’s all you need to know. That’s clearly possible, because you’re experiencing it. It isn’t hurting you or anyone else, so there’s no moral issue there. It’s something plenty of other people have also experienced, which doesn’t really matter, but can make things feel more “valid.” Poke around this blog, you’ll find plenty of people in the same situation. You can start with this FAQ page!