Hey! I had a girlfriend and she has a boyfriend, and well I want to date someone else as well, I’m open for dating boys girls whatever (I’m pan) but the thing is, it’s really difficult to find someone who is comfortable with a poly relation, and also, my sexuality along with the kind of relation I had, usually makes me look like a kind of a promiscuous hoe. I don’t know what to do, any advice?

Step one: make an OKC profile, be clear about who you are, and go on dates while being your awesome self! Go to poly meetups in your area and meet people!

Step two: Be patient. Remember that even monogamous people have a hard time finding someone who likes them for who they are. Dating is tough, and if you’ve been running into mostly people who don’t want to date a polyamorous pansexual person, that can be really frustrating, but don’t give up!

Step three: Remember that being promiscuous is only a ‘negative’ for some people. It’s okay to enjoy sex and have a lot of it! You don’t want to date someone who judges you for who you are and how you like to express that, so if people judge you for that, they’re just doing the work for you of screening out folks who wouldn’t be good for you to date.

Stay safe (get tested, have safe sex), be a fun partner (always practice good consent, focus on your partner’s pleasure, study up on whatever sexual stuff you like to do), and you’ll eventually find people who appreciate, rather than get spooked by, who you are as a sexual being.