I’m poly and I love my best friend and we both are interested in the same guy. We’ve all talked about it and he’s okay with it but she doesn’t do “sharing”. I don’t want to be selfish and get in the way of them but I really want to be with them…..so, help?
This is a situation where you can’t get everything you want. Your best friend is not interested in being in the kind of relationship that you want. You can’t change that or force anything on her.
Your options are to pursue the guy or to not pursue the guy. If you pursue the guy and date him, you risk damaging your relationship with your best friend, since she likes him too. But, you get an opportunity to date a guy who’s open to a kind of relationship you’re interested in.
If you don’t pursue the guy, your best friend might end up dating him monogamously. This means you don’t get to be with the guy, and your best friend won’t feel betrayed, but you may have a hard time seeing them together, and it’s possible she might struggle with jealousy knowing you two also liked each other.
It’s possible the guy might not end up dating either of you; choosing to pursue someone doesn’t guarantee any outcomes. I’m not psychic; I can’t predict the future - I can only say what seems possible/likely given the details I have.
Honestly, the language you used gives me a pretty big clue: you “love” your best friend but you’re only “interested” in this guy. Crushes, interests, guys - those come and go. My advice would be to not risk a friendship as deep as love by pushing for something with this guy.