Hi. I think my boyfriend is gonna leave me because I won’t sleep with him. I really love him, but we are in high school. I wanna wait until marriage but he always brings it up. I don’t want him to leave me, I want us to both win. I don’t know what to do. Halp please.
If your boyfriend is pushing or disrespecting your boundaries, that is not healthy and not okay. Trying to use ultimatums or the threat of a breakup to pressure you into doing something you aren’t comfortable doing is not okay.
It’s his right to leave a relationship if the terms - no sex before marriage - are not working for him. It’s your right to leave a relationship if the terms - sex before marriage - are not working for you. It is also your right to leave a relationship if you feel pressured, manipulated, or threatened.
You have your whole life to meet people whose values and desires will sync better with yours, and who will respect your choices about what you want to do with your own body. Don’t compromise for a boy just to keep him.
This is not about “winning” or “losing,” it’s about learning how to stand up for yourself, demand respect for your boundaries, and identify when situations aren’t healthy for you. It is okay for relationships to end once you figure out that what you want isn’t compatible - that’s the entire point of dating!