Hi there - do you think it’s odd that a couple who have been dating a few months or so should share a calendar and know exactly where the other is and what they are doing at all times? My friend said they like to know what their partner is doing because although they are poly they like to know who the other person is with, etc. To me, it seemed a bit odd and like it could be quite controlling behaviour, but I don’t really know. Do you think it’s worth bringing up or not?
If it’s working for these people, then it’s working for them…different people have different levels of comfort with this kind of openness and shared information. If this isn’t how you’d like to run your relationships, that’s fine! But something that wouldn’t work for you doesn’t mean it’s bad for everyone else.
If your friend is being controlled or manipulated in an abusive way, that’s an issue. But it sounds like they just have different preferences than you. For some people, it can be really convenient and useful to have shared calendars and there’s nothing inherently wrong with that. Let other people live their best lives, even if they’re doing things in a way that you personally wouldn’t be comfortable with.