I been dating this guy for two years and he started to hit it off with my friend too. He dumped me for her but then after a short time he asked me out again. I didn’t know he was still dating her. We all had a long talk till I asked if we should try Polyamory dating with each other. It’s been awhile and I still can’t stand the thought of them together and get jealous easy because they hang out with each other and a girl that they both wanted to add to the relationship but I said no. Any advice?

Let me get this straight: your partner dumped you for someone, then asked if you would date him again while he was still dating her, you decided to try it out, but you still feel jealous about her. You, my friend, are a saint. Very few people are even willing to try making the transition from mono to poly in that kind of situation. 

It’s very reasonable that her relationship with this guy would feel like a threat to you, because at one point, it genuinely was. Dating polyamorously with a guy and the person he dumped you for is a serious emotional minefield, and you made the brave choice to try and navigate it, but it’s not working for you, and that’s very fair.

They have a right to hang out with someone you don’t want them to date, but again, it sounds like nothing about this relationship is emotionally healthy for you. You don’t deserve to be put in that kind of situation and expected to swallow your feelings of jealousy and insecurity while they just do what they want with no consequences. But the logical consequence here is that since they aren’t willing to be with you in a way that works for you, they don’t get to be with you. 

You may be someone who can be happy and fulfilled in a polyamorous relationship in the future, with someone else - but it sounds like this situation isn’t healthy for you. My advice is to say to yourself and to them that “hey, I tried to make this work, but this just isn’t something I can do. I wish you all the best, but I am going to leave this arrangement.” Then find someone to date, monogamously or polyamorously, who doesn’t make you feel this way!