I was dating a woman who began making me feel decidedly uncomfortable despite her own multiple poly relationships, and eventually I broke off the relationship because of too many ignored calls,texts, broken engagments, and a general sense of unwelcome. Later she called me a toxic narcissist among other things and I broke off contact. Do I have to let her back in my life-what my current partners are rooting for? Or can I let this bridge stay burnt?
You don’t want this person in your life, you don’t have to include this person in your life.
Why are your current partners wanting you to get involved with her again? Do they have connections to her?
Do they not understand how hurt you were, or do they know the whole story and still think you should let her back into your life?
Does she even want to get back into your life - are you ignoring pleas for reconciliation on her part, or do your partners just think you should reach out to her?
No matter what, if someone made you uncomfortable to the point that you decided to cut them out of your life, no one should be pressuring you to change that. Tell that to your current partners clearly - this is not something you are open to negotiating about or reconsidering. If they don’t respect that, think hard about whether they’re healthy for you to date.
On the flip side: I try to take all letters at face value, but since I only get one POV, I never get the whole story. If a bunch of otherwise reasonable people in your life are all pushing for you to do the same thing, and you’re the only person operating with your “I was deeply wronged by this unilaterally evil person” narrative, consider listening to them.
Maybe “you overreacted to a comment this person made, and your scorched-earth policy is doing more harm than good to the relationships in your community, and it might be worth trying to heal this a little bit - you don’t have to start dating them or be their friend, but maybe hear out their apology” is a position worth hearing. Maybe. I put this as the post-script instead of my actual advice because it’s not my go-to advice. But since all your current partners are pushing for something, it might be worth it to at least hear out their reasoning.