I’m in a polyamorous relationship and it’s fantastic. I’ve never seen my girlfriend so happy, but here’s the thing, she very extroverted and I’m extremely introverted. I’m ungodly picky, like slow burns and I’ve already shortened my list because I’m a lesbian. How does one go about meeting people without it happening every two years?
Online dating is great for this! It lets you filter for polyamorous lesbians, and lets you check people out and chat from the comfort of your own bed. Plus, you can slow-burn as long as you want over chat!
So are local groups that connect you with like-minded folk who share your hobbies. You can check out groups for lesbians to meet and socialize, and also groups for whatever interests you have. There are “shut up and write” groups in many cities where you get together with a group of people and mostly don’t talk much, just write in each other’s company for a while. Afterwards some people stay and chat or exchange contact info.
Also, maybe let go of the concept that it’s a problem if you don’t meet many new partners. It sounds like your timeframe works for you: it lets you be picky and doesn’t force you into dating a bunch of people you’re meh on, and it lets you enjoy the slow-burn buildup of a relationship without feeling rushed or pressured. If you are okay with your dating life as it is, but just feel like you’re being left behind by your girlfriend, maybe the solution isn’t for you to find more frequent dates, but for you to cultivate more time with your girlfriend to temper the NRE that pulls her attention away, to spend time with friends or solitary hobbies, and let go of the sense that you need to ‘keep up’ with her dating pace.