I’m mono and dating a poly girl and she’s also dating another girl and I love her, but I can’t do it. I’m not going to ask her to stop being herself for me, but watching her love someone else is killing me. What do I do? I feel inferior.

You are not inferior. Monogamy is not a lesser state of being than polyamory. It is just a different way of being.

If you’re in a relationship that feels like it’s “killing you,” and you feel like you “can’t do it,” the best thing to do is leave that relationship. Sometimes things don’t work out between two people, and it doesn’t mean either one is wrong, or flawed, or inferior.

Congratulations on being strong and open enough to try out this kind of relationship. There is no shame or inferiority in realizing after you’ve tried something that it isn’t right for you. 

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