I’m torn rn. I’m in a good relationship with my loving boyfriend. Things were rough for a while but we’re finally in a really good place. I was at a party the other night and was sitting on the couch with one of my friends and I was stroking his arm and he was stroking my upper thigh. I wasn’t aroused by it or anything and I felt bad about it the whole time and I don’t know why I didn’t just stop him. I don’t know if I should tell my bf since we’re in a good place and I don’t want to ruin it

If you weren’t turned on or tempted to cheat, and nothing went any farther than this, I don’t think you’re obligated to tell your boyfriend, especially if you think it would create unnecessary drama or hurt feelings.

If you felt uncomfortable or violated, and you need your boyfriend to support you in this - helping you avoid that friend or set boundaries with him - that’s a different story. But it sounds like you just had a moment of confusing intimacy with a friend at a party, which is a thing that happens in the world. You didn’t cheat, you don’t feel tempted to cheat now - I think this is a non-issue.

Ideally, you and your boyfriend will get to a place of trust and openness where telling him about things that happen with you won’t risk “ruining” the positivity in your relationship. But I don’t think this is anything worth testing or straining your relationship over.