I’ve always been in mono relationships and I’m currently in a relationship with someone who is poly. They originally were really good at dividing their time evenly and gave me full attention when we talked but now they seem to always be busy with other partners even when we try to talk. I still love them and I still want to be with them but I’ve been wondering if maybe I want to take on another partner to give me the attention I’m lacking? Would this be okay? If so how do I tell my partner?
Do not take on another partner just to make up for the attention you’re lacking from your current partner - people are not need-meeting machines, and adding new partners doesn’t ever solve problems with your current partners.
First, talk to your partner! Be open and honest about how you feel. Try to give specific examples - is it that they’re on their phone with other partners when they’re with you? Is it that they over schedule their time so when they’re with you, they’re always checking the time and running off to their next thing?
The first line of defense is to see about solving this with your partner. Maybe they don’t realize they’ve been paying you less attention; maybe another one of their partners is going through a temporary rough patch that demands more attention - this might be solvable just through communication!
If they deny that they’re paying you less attention or they refuse to make any compromises or effort, then start thinking about whether you need to fundamentally alter the terms of the relationship. But give them a chance to solve the issue first.