Heya… I kind of have a little problem (im new to the poly world so forgive me) but a boy and a girl who already are in a relationship and asked me to join them, the only problem i have is that i dont like the guy in /that/ way. The guy is my best friend and all but i don’t want a romanic relationship with him. They both admitted to me that they liked me. But i don’t wanna break either heart… Do you have some advice?
You are absolutely not obligated to date someone you don’t want to date just because they really want you to. You say you don’t want to “break anyone’s heart,” but declining to date someone you’re not interested in dating isn’t exactly a heartbreaking move. It is okay to not give people everything they want from you. It is okay to say no.
If you don’t want to date this boy, don’t date him. If you want to date only the girl, but they are only interested in a triad, then you can’t date this girl. It’s frustrating that all your desires don’t line up perfectly, but that happens sometimes with relationships. And with life. No one gets everything they want, all the time. You want to date her but not him; he wants to date you - so it just might not work out. That is okay!
Be gentle and positive when letting them know how you feel, and let your relationships with these people fall into a space that works for everyone. If that turns out to be non-romantic, that’s okay! Just like every monogamous person doesn’t have to date every individual who likes them, not entering a poly relationship that doesn’t fit what you want doesn’t make you any less poly.