I’ve been dating this girl for about 2m now. Her husband has decided that “they” aren’t poly anymore since he got dumped, and now she’s thinking about leaving him(for more than that btw). I like her but I did not sign up for this much drama. Help?
Ah, the motto of all reasonable polyamorists everywhere: “I like [them] but I did not sign up for this much drama.” It really comes down to how much you’re willing to put up with.
I think you would be well within your rights to take some distance from this new relationship and let her know you’d be happy to pick back up once she gets some of her drama sorted out. Of course, she would be well within her rights to decide that since you can’t be there to support her during tough times, she doesn’t feel like finding you again once she’s more convenient to date.
I think you would also be well within your rights to stay with her and just do your best to stay out of the drama. Set boundaries with her that feel comfortable to you, and let their issues be their issues. If she insists on letting it affect your relationship in ways you don’t have the patience for, walk away.
Only you know what your specific drama tolerance is right now, and whether this relationship is worth it to you - once you figure it out, you just have to act. Good luck!