My boyfriend and I were looking for a 3 some partner and now we’re all really enamored with each other and started a poly relationship. Any advice for us newbies?
First off, you three deserve kudos for being able to make that transition. It’s tough to give advice without knowing more about your specific situation, but here’s what comes to mind:
1.) Communication! Develop clear and healthy communication strategies. Things might feel easy and simple at the start, since you three were so lucky to fall for each other the way you did, but that can actually be dangerous as you may find yourselves in a conflict before you’ve built up ways of coping with it, and that’s like fixing the car in the toughest part of the race. Check in with each other often and practice good communication from the start.
2.) Do what’s right and healthy for you. There are as many ways to be poly as there are poly people. You know what’s best for you, as individuals and as a poly triad. Don’t get too hung up in what other people project onto you, or what other poly people are doing and saying. Forge your own path, checking in often about whether what you’re doing is working.
3.) Be prepared for society to be unprepared for you. Many people think polyamory is a sexual behavior rather than a way of being in relationships, and associate it with what they see as “sexual deviancy.” Especially since you three met as threesome partners, that stigma may be especially tough to shake. Hold your heads high, and support each other through the difficulties that accompany coming out as poly.