My partner and I have been in a monogamous relationship for almost 2 years. A few months ago, I brought up polyamory to them. Baby steps and a lot of talking later, we’ve conditionally opened up our relationship. I’m so happy that they’re giving this a shot, and actually putting themselves out there. My concern is that they feel like they will not be successful at finding other partners, as they have had issues dating in the past. How can I help both emotionally and wingman-ly? <3
Dating is hard! It’s hard for all folks. How many standup routines, sad songs, sitcom scenes, etc. focus on that whole “I’ve been single forever; when am I going to find someone?” problem. People of all types - mono and poly, gay and straight - go months, even years, without finding a romantic partner. And that’s okay! You and your partner should remember that simply opening up your relationship doesn’t magically invite the universe to start raining down potential partners into your life.
As for acting as a good wingman, I find it pretty fun to help my partners through their dating adventures. I do things like coach them through how to write a nice message to someone they like on OKCupid, help them pick out a first date outfit (or make sure their one nice shirt is clean that day), and mysteriously find somewhere else to be when they start chatting with someone cute. Talk to your partner and find out what they see as areas where they need support in this, and keep the lines of communication open as they step out into the open waters of dating as a newly poly person!