I have a question… if I want to try to find another partner to ease up the stress I put on my existing poly girlfriend (I’m very clingy and attached and needy and she’s… not), does that make me poly as well? Because that’s the only reason. I’ve never loved more than one person at once or wanted to date more than one person at once… in the past, whenever i started feeling for someone else, it was because my current relationship was fading. So I don’t know what to think of myself…
It’s important to remember that people aren’t need-meeting machines. Everyone you might date has their own emotional baggage, their own needs and feelings, etc. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes: how would you feel dating someone who is only dating you as a pressure valve to take some of the stress off their primary partner?
It’s okay to find other outlets for your relational and sexual energy. I find myself going through bouts of casual hookups, online chatting, tindering, etc. when I need some extra attention, but that behavior is different than seeking a specific new partner for the sole purpose of distracting me from my primary partner’s inability to meet all my needs.
I don’t recommend seeking out a new partner for this reason, because I don’t see it being healthy for either of you. There are better ways to get your needs met than by dumping them on a new person. Finding non-romantic friends, going on lots of casual dates, throwing yourself into a new hobby, working with your current girlfriend to balance some of your needs with hers, seeing a therapist about your self-admitted clinginess - I’d suggest trying some or all of these before going after a second partner.