Help, your FAQ doesn't work on mobile!

I'm sorry if my ask went against your rules, I'm on mobile and cant see your faq

Hi, I'm on mobile so I can't see your FAQ... I still have a question though..

Can I have link to FAQ? I'm on mobile

Friends, I hear often that people on mobile can’t see the FAQ, but that’s not true. My “ask” button on mobile lists the FAQ url, which works in a mobile browser. It won’t work in the tumblr mobile app, but it will work in a mobile browser. Please stop telling me this - all you need to do is open your mobile browser and go to per the ask page’s instructions.

You could also search my blog for “faq” and find plenty of links to it there. You can also find all my blog’s content on, including the FAQ and a question submission form, which is entirely mobile-friendly. (I pay out of pocket for that!)

I understand that it takes one extra step, but I spend hours per week on this entirely free blog; y’all can do .5% of the work for me. Sending me an extra message telling me that you “can’t” follow the question submission instructions when it is absolutely possible is getting old. I don’t know of any mobile devices that run the tumblr app and don’t run a mobile browser.

Not actually a question, just wanted to say I’m newly poly and found your blog during your hiatus. It’s been immensely helpful, and I’m so glad you’re back! <3

I typed you a really long email and right before i went to hit send I realized that I was just looking for someone to validate my feelings. Thank you for opening your heart to so many people. You helped me by simply being there to listen if i needed.

Thanks so much for such an amazing, informative, nonjudgmental blog!!!

I am very glad to have found your blog. My wife and I opened up our marriage last year and i’m understanding it more and more. I love the advice you give. Keep up the great stuff. =D you are awesome

Sorry if this is annoying, but I just wanted to say thanks. I’m mono (so is my partner) but I decided to do research into polyamory because I found myself being somewhat judgemental without having any real knowledge. This blog has taught me how it works, and helped me accept my polyamorous friends whereas before I couldn’t understand it at all. It’s really opened my eyes, and I wanted to say thank you for this blog, and the amazing advice you give people.

Don’t need advice, just been reading the blog and wanted to say thank you for everything you do!

<3 you all are the best! I was super nervous about coming back from the unplanned hiatus - to the point that I really missed running the blog but would feel sick to my stomach at just the thought of logging in, so I avoided it for longer, and then of course felt worse, which just made for a very nasty cycle of shame and avoidance. I do deal with an anxiety disorder and I have been through some rough times in my personal life lately, so that shame spiral was pretty pronounced.

I expected to see so much anger and judgment, especially after trying to start the Patreon and then all of a sudden dropping off. I have seen lots of bloggers and other online thing-makers vilified for letting down their fans, and I felt like I pretty much deserved it. But it turned out Patreon refunded the few folks who backed me and didn’t see any activity (thanks for helping me not look like such an asshole, Patreon) and I haven’t gotten any hate or anything. At all.

I love this blog and I love my readers. While one of my eventual goals is to make a career out of being a poly thinker, writer, and activist, I have found myself in a much better financial situation and no longer need to try monetizing it. It’s also clear that I’m not in the right place in my life to be consistent and responsible enough to uphold my end of any monetization deal. So I’ll be taking down my Patreon for now. If you backed (only a few people did) and feel cheated or let down, please reach out to me and I will work something out!

Thank you so much to everyone for proving my anxiety to be a huge liar. The poly community is so forgiving and loving and healthy. I am so glad that because of this, the mistakes I made have not cost me the opportunity to run this blog, which brings me so much joy. I can’t even begin to express my gratitude <3

A note on posting frequency:

Hi all,

I took a bit of an unannounced hiatus over the past few weeks - I was camping with some of the youth I work with, and working out some complicated life issues regarding my career. During that time, I got a number of messages (with varying degrees of politeness) about my absence.

I am honored and overjoyed that this blog helps people and is meaningful enough for its absence to be noticed. I am so grateful to everyone who reaches out to me for advice and so humbled that all of you trust me enough with such personal and complex issues.

That said, this is not a paid gig for me, and I have a full time career, plus a couple of part-time gigs. I do my best to keep the queue stocked, and I feel awful about any lapses in posting.

Please know that if I don’t answer your question immediately, it’s not personal. I get a large number of questions daily, and am unable to answer every one as soon as I get it. Many people send me time-sensitive questions asking advice about impending situations, but I cannot promise that I’ll get to those in time.

Some people send me follow-up messages expressing shame, frustration, or abandonment when their questions aren’t answered. I feel awful that I can’t help everyone immediately, but please, don’t assume that an online columnist’s ability to respond to you quickly is a reflection of how worthy, interesting, or loved you are. I love and care about all of you, and I wish I could be present 100% of the time to be a guide and a listening ear, but I can’t.

If you are having an immediate mental health crisis, please call 911, your therapist, a trusted friend, or a hotline

If you have a rude or hurtful comment about my blog and whether it meets your preferences for updates, please go outside, take a breath, look at a plant, and direct your energies to something positive.