So my bf and I have started dating this girl, and she definitely is more sweet and affectionate towards him then she is to me, even though I’m like that towards her. It always makes me a little jealous, and I try not let it bother me because I know their relationship will be a little different, but idk I’m a really affectionate person. I don’t really want to say anything to her though because i want to be natural. Thanks!
Something you have to let go of in polyamory is this belief, or fear, that openly talking about a feeling or a desire is not “natural.” You gotta be willing to talk about this kind of stuff. It feels awkward at first, but it’s critical.
It doesn’t have to be a serious, formalized thing, though. Next time you two are alone together, you can bring it up gently and positively. “Hey, can we talk about something for a sec? I’ve noticed that you’re more touchy-feely with Morgon than me - is everything alright? What are your preferences and feelings about physical intimacy?”
Then, make space for her answer. She might be attracted to you differently, or put off by something about your way of expression affection. She might just not have noticed, or misread your signals. No matter what, the best thing to do is to have a chat about how you’re feeling, what you’ve noticed, and how you two can better communicate your needs and meet each other’s needs going forward.