So my bf and I have started dating this girl, and she definitely is more sweet and affectionate towards him then she is to me, even though I’m like that towards her. It always makes me a little jealous, and I try not let it bother me because I know their relationship will be a little different, but idk I’m a really affectionate person. I don’t really want to say anything to her though because i want to be natural. Thanks!

Something you have to let go of in polyamory is this belief, or fear, that openly talking about a feeling or a desire is not “natural.” You gotta be willing to talk about this kind of stuff. It feels awkward at first, but it’s critical.

It doesn’t have to be a serious, formalized thing, though. Next time you two are alone together, you can bring it up gently and positively. “Hey, can we talk about something for a sec? I’ve noticed that you’re more touchy-feely with Morgon than me - is everything alright? What are your preferences and feelings about physical intimacy?”

Then, make space for her answer. She might be attracted to you differently, or put off by something about your way of expression affection. She might just not have noticed, or misread your signals. No matter what, the best thing to do is to have a chat about how you’re feeling, what you’ve noticed, and how you two can better communicate your needs and meet each other’s needs going forward.

Possibly entering my first triad relationship and one person is long-distance. I’m a very needy person, particularly in relationships, and I know this about myself. Am I setting myself up for failure?

Are you setting yourself up for failure? Not necessarily. It sounds like you have some self awareness of this issue, which is the first (and often the hardest) step.

I’d encourage you to get more specific with yourself and dig into what you mean by “needy.” What kinds of things do you need? Are there specific kinds of attention you need? Can you maybe articulate those to your partner and be clear about how they can help meet your needs? In relationships, it’s okay to ask for what you want - you have the right to be clear with your partners about how you’d like them to text you more, or you want to make sure you plan a visit every few months.

Also ask yourself where this neediness comes from. Is it a fear of abandonment? Fear of missing out? The fact that you just really enjoy being with your partners? Answering those questions might help you handle those feelings in a healthier way. Maybe hearing from your partner that if they don’t answer a text, it doesn’t mean they don’t care, just that they’re busy, can help. Maybe finding hobbies or friendships outside these relationships can help.

Being clear and specific, with yourself and with your partners, can make these feelings of neediness a lot more manageable. Good luck!