I’ve been in a happy committed relationship with my boyfriend for over a year now. I love him to death and would do anything for him as he would for me. lately I started wondering about having a poly relationship with him and I don’t know how to bring it up. We have friends who are in poly relationships so we’re both fine with it but when it would come to us I’m not so sure. I don’t know how to tell him I’ve been thinking about us in that way (being in a poly relationship).
The best way to tell someone anything is clearly, gently, honestly, and with your words. When you two are alone and things are calm, and it seems like a good time to have a serious chat, say “Hey, you know how our friends Harry and Ron and Hermione are poly? Have you ever thought about trying something like that out?”
Think beforehand about what your best case scenario is: do you just want him to be open to the idea so you two can start discussing your own needs and hopes? Do you want him to be open enough to the idea to start taking active steps toward practicing polyamory? Do you just want him to be made aware that you’ve been thinking about this? Identify your goals going in, so you can be clear about what you want from the conversation.
However he responds, make space for that. If he’s totally shut off about it - “Yeah, I can see that it works for them, but it’s never something I’d be interested in” - then you have to decide what to do from there. But your current issue is not knowing how to bring it up, and the answer is just to find a comfortable moment and put it out there for discussion. There’s no secret trick to it!