So my Significant Other’s partners are like these wonderful super amazing people and I feel inadequate in comparison. What advice do you have…
When I cook a beautiful, veggie-packed, colorful, well-plated meal (with gluten free and vegan options!) and have it with my friends, I post it to Instagram.
When I neglect to feed myself and end up having half a bag of Doritos and a spoonful of peanut butter at 8pm while watching an episode of Brooklyn-99 that I’ve already seen…I do not Instagram that.
We see other people’s highlight reels, but our own behind-the-scenes. It’s not fair to compare everything you know about yourself to what other people choose to share!
Or, you could think of it another way, as an issue of trust: do you trust your significant other? Do you trust them to make wise choices? If you trust your significant other to do what’s best for them, and they’ve chosen to be with you, then you’ve gotta trust that they’re making a strong choice!
Doubting your value to someone who believes that you are valuable means you’re doubting them - don’t deny your significant other their agency or insist that you know them better than they know themselves. If they want to be with you, then they want to be with you!
If there is something your significant other could do, or stop doing, to help you work through these feelings, please talk to them about it! It’s okay to tell your partner that you’re feeling a bit inadequate and need some reassurance. Sometimes hearing from other people what they see in you can help you reframe things!
If this is a feeling you struggle with in other areas of your life, or that is crippling or paralyzing in ways that affect your happiness and daily life, please consider working with a therapist on these feelings of inadequacy and comparing yourself to other people.