I entered my first poly relationship a while ago. I already had a partner who’s living with me in my apartment, and then I got a gf recently. My gf already has a partner living with her too and also we live 4-5 hours of journey by train away from each other. Neither of us has more than one bedroom. It is very hard to meet up but were dying to meet again. Unless one of our partner leave town, which is rare, were in a tough spot. Have you been in a similar situation or know anyone who has? What do?
Boy have I! It’s frustrating and can take some creativity, but it can be done. When I’ve been in a similar situation, my partners and I have gotten really into those websites that let you get hotel rooms cheap as last-minute bookings, or booking AirBnBs in off-season areas. There are plenty of apps and websites that let you find overnight cuddle-up spots without breaking the bank! If you’re outdoorsy, camping and cabin-camping can be a great option to spend a night together as well.
Getting a bit more creative: if you’re at all into things like sex parties or BDSM dungeons, then finding one in a city near you can be a good way to find space for that kind of time together. If you have the funds, places like spas or hot springs are lovely ways to get some private space together (there’s a spot near me that rents private hot tub and sauna rooms by the hour and is well patronized by people in your situation). And see if either of you have any friends who are willing to let us crash in guest bedrooms, or want you to house-sit while they’re gone for a weekend.
It may also be possible for your partner, or her partner, to give y’all the apartment for an evening. Do they have a friend or a partner they could crash with? Could you and your partner send them and a friend or partner to a spa, or hotel, or concert, or nice dinner, while you two hang out in the apartment? Some people feel really icky about being “kicked out” or “sexiled” from their own home, but when it’s framed as a flexible, creative way for everyone to have a good time, I’ve seen it work well!
It takes some extra planning and sometimes some extra cash, but it can be done! Best of luck!